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October 5, 2010

About two years back I have written a post about death and how uncertain it is. But time and again I am stuck with the uncertainty that surrounds it and saddened by it.

It’s not about my death that I have thought about. In fact whenever I have thought about my death, I would imagine the people who would come to the funeral and how sad they would be. Might sound weird but honestly, I have liked the thought of people feeling sad for me, rather feel glad that I shared a wonderful bond with each of them. Call it sadistic pleasure or whatever, but it makes me happy.

But that’s not what I am talking about right now. What scares me about death is the thought that it my strike to someone I know, some ones I love and all those precious people in my life. Even the thought of losing someone is painful and having to see someone live with it is even the more painful.

I have not encountered death from close quarters until I was 20. The 1st person I saw lying dead was my grandfather. At that time, heartless it might sound but I felt that he has had an eventful life and had passed away without much suffering. All my worry was how my grandmother would be able to survive with the fact that there would be no on to live with her in their home, no one to irritate her, no one to argue with her for every small thing and  no one to share her thoughts at every point of time. I felt bad for my mother who was going to miss speaking to her dad on phone. And of the many people on whom my grandfather had an influence on. My grandfather had an eventful life but while he died peacefully, the rest of us moaned for him and had to endure with the pain his death caused. I wonder why it has to be like that…

A friend’s mother passed away recently and I was at loss of words to even talk to him. I have never known her but the thought that she’s not going to be there with her family made me sad. I could only imagine the amount of pain it might have caused to the family. I had no idea as to what I could say to my friend. I knew that nothing I would do would lessen the pain. They say time heals all the pain. All I hope is that time passes soon and this friend moves on with all the happy memories that are left.

Endings are never happy. Any relationship which ends leaves the few people involved in pain. But when life comes to an end it, it leaves many in pain and the fact that nothing can be done to bring back the person or mend the relation with the person is even more painful. One might say it’s the cycle of life it has to come to an end at some point of time. We might accept the fact but when reality strikes, isn’t it hard to digest the fact??

P.S: Just a random ramble.

8 Comments leave one →
  1. October 6, 2010 10:14 AM

    Pretty philosophical post…what brought u into the mood all of a sudden? 🙂
    I really dont know.. i guess its just another phase which comes and passes by..

    And I thought I was the one who had these death related thoughts. 😀 😀 LOL, not of dying per se…but just similar thoughts…who would mourn if I died…u know…
    like that.
    I think of such things once in while and i used to think i was crazy to have such thoughts..good to know others think that way too 🙂

    And yes it scares me that death may take away a loved one…dying myself is not half as scary as that 😐
    Ultimately the saving grace from the pain is that the person did not suffer while passing away. I can understand the thought you had while your grandfather passed away…it is the people who live through that undergo the suffering…factually speaking..

    Very true Ash! dying myself in not at all scary when compared to the pain

  2. October 9, 2010 12:28 AM

    That was a lot of thoughts, Mystery. And I feel the same. I worry about the death of near and dear one, and wonder how we would go on after that.. you know..

    But then, as you say, if a person has had a full and fulfilling life, it hurts less- I suppose.

  3. October 16, 2010 2:33 PM

    Death is always an interesting thing… only certain thing in life after birth is death… Even though the thought of death comes to me I am unceratin about how the people around me will take it..

    I have read the Steve Job’s speech and he told that the very thought of nearing death made him to make big decisions in life.. quite true…

  4. bharani permalink
    October 20, 2010 12:41 AM

    ummm nice template….clean page..I like it.. i ll shift to wordpress too :D…death ….u know wat change is not the constant thing in life its death …the inevitable constant thing in everyones life :D..i think my smileyes are totally out of context…but sweety …chill and enjoy while u re alive…u shld never regret tht u dint do wat u wanted to …wen u were alive and now u re dead ….atleast giv tht a shot..and dont wrry abt ppl around u…one of the best gifts for mankind is his forgetfulness…his memory…ppl go thru so many things..yet they move on….this way…by forgetting…and going forward.

  5. November 5, 2010 9:55 PM

    Well… I don’t know why but sometimes i fantasize about death … That when i am going to die i will be allowed to do anything i want.. Say ‘I love you’ to all the people i want too and everyone is going to say the same to me… Apparently all this can happen if i know before hand at least by 2-3 months that i am going to die..else pop goes the weasel….

  6. February 22, 2012 1:45 AM

    Hey Mystery, hw r u dng?
    Happy 2012 🙂

    I am doing good Swaram. Thanks:) Wish you a happy 2012 too 🙂

    • March 5, 2012 1:01 AM

      yep came to ask u the same thing as Swaram 😀

      Howz u???
      Happy 2012!!!!


      Thanks for checking Nancy. I am all good and hopefully back to blogging again. Happy 2012 to u too:)

  7. the.dreamer permalink
    March 26, 2012 2:23 PM

    Hey Mystery girl! I can so connect with your post, as I have been dealing with this pain for the past 10 years now! And my finding is that time never heals your pain, it only manages to teach us to live with it and dulls the pain! But all in all, very nicely put! 🙂

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